Last Updated on September 6, 2024
You’ve seen the type: that person who reads books all the time, face hidden behind the covers, and digs through the pages without any care in the world. For sure, there’s a wobbling pile of books on the bookworm’s nightstand, office desk, and possibly every flat area in his or her apartment. The person would likely decline an offer to go out just to finish the book he or she reading.
Sounds familiar? Maybe you know someone like this person. Or, perhaps you’re this person.
A voracious reader is often chastised for what looks like a very antisocial behavior. However, recent studies show that reading books – particularly fiction – can strengthen a person’s social skills and heighten his empathy toward other people.
Books enable readers to better understand human nature. And reading, though somewhat a solitary act, is actually perceived as a human interaction exercise. Research findings also show that books can sharpen and develop one’s social brain so the person is better equipped to collaborate and form relationships in real life.
How Reading Can Improve Your Social and Career Skills
Reading books have a slew of benefits. But more than ever, the activity can improve both your social and career skills. Based on a report made by the New York Times, a recent scientific study has shown that after reading excerpts from various fiction books, participants have done well on tests that measure social awareness and emotional intelligence. This is why reading is an all-too-important activity that everyone – from kids to adults – should participate in.
Apart from aiding you to be a well-rounded person, here are some other benefits of reading in relation to improving your social and career skills.
Reading helps you catch up on the ins and outs of social events.
Socially inexperienced people often lack the interpersonal knowledge that others gain through constant social exposure – like hanging out with friends all the time. At times, this makes them appear ignorant, gullible or naive. They may have difficulty following certain kinds of discussions or chitchat.
Reading is a quick way to fix this situation. The activity helps you get caught up with the essentials and particulars of social events. For example, if you’ve attended only a handful of parties when you were young and feel totally in the dark on what happens in “real” parties, you can read books about them. You may not necessarily want to attend social events all the time, but you also don’t want to be completely clueless about them either. Through books, you’ll learn social etiquette and party-related humor that will help you when you attend a social gathering in real life.
Reading helps you understand and connect with people better.
If you’re having difficulty relating to a certain type of person, books can help you figure them out. Read books about their distinct personality or something that is written from their perspective. This enables you to understand what makes them tick and learn the best way to connect with them. For example, if you think foreigners are obnoxious, read books about cultural differences.
Reading gives you life experiences (for free).
Obviously, you learn a lot by doing things firsthand. But still, other information and behavior can be acquired through books. If you’re at a career crossroad, read books about other people’s struggles and triumphs to succeed. Through this, you’ll have the feel of the same trial-and-error experience and gain something from it – hopefully a thing or two that can help you ease your predicament.
When you read a lot, you’re able to flesh out your beliefs and ideas about life. The author’s perceptions and attitudes toward a certain issue or the world in general manifest through his work. When you read his viewpoints and agree with them, you can incorporate his insights into your own ideas. This particularly works well on ways to successfully handle your career.
The Books You Need to Read
Basically, read all kinds of books. The first rule in reading is to NOT be too picky. If you enjoy a book that isn’t quite popular, then who cares? A seemingly pointless book can still indirectly educate you about something.
Another rule is to devote time on subjects you’re not familiar with, but think can help in whichever capacity you need. Like if you want to improve your social skills or boost your career, try reading guide books instead of your preference for fantasy novels. Try to tap as many topics as possible.
The more information you have in your head about anything and everything under the sun, the better. You never know what topic you’ll come across with on the next social event or meeting you attend.
The Importance of Mixing it Up
Some people who are just keen on self-improvement assume that the only books worth their while are those that directly talk about topics on personal growth. They see reading up on other subjects as a waste of their time. What they don’t realize is that learning about different topics is also a part of self-improvement.
The great – and ironic – thing about books is that you can be reading about a particular topic but still end up gaining valuable lessons on a very different or contrasting subject. You may read a book about running, and acquire insights into human interaction in the end. Or a book about war may teach you something about love. You can’t just dismiss books that seem too out there for your taste or need. Every piece of reading material can impress a positive and a more confident mindset in you.
Books are also everywhere. Don’t think that you can’t afford reading. There are a lot of resources you can use to get free books. Go to your local library. Visit a second-hand book shop. Check the internet for free books (not illegally download eBooks, please). Borrow from a friend or a colleague. There are tons of ways for you to get a hold of a book that can change your life. “I don’t have money to buy books” is not an excuse.
Books to Help You Improve Your Social and Career Skills
Every book has the power to teach you about something in life. The genre doesn’t really matter because you’ll undoubtedly gain a thing or two. But if you focus on honing in your social and career skills, here’s a list of 15 books that can help you reach your goal.
Guide Books
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
This is a classic guidebook for a reason. It’s packed with well-meaning tips on how to connect with other people and perhaps be a driving force in their lives.
What Every BODY is Saying by Joe Navarro
Thanks to its author, a former FBI agent, this is the book if you want to learn how to read people. Body language can tell a lot. Understanding the emotion of others in a social or professional gathering can be advantageous.
People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts by Robert Bolton
This is among the most recommended books about social skills. It’s loaded with valuable tips to improve how you communicate with others. It also tackles how silence is a powerful conversation force and how listening to others is more than just a courtesy.
The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky
This reading material used scientific studies to dissect what makes people happy. It also translates its findings into actionable steps that anyone can follow. It’s basically a study of happiness and how improving yourself from within is the best way to relate to other people.
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler
The authors of this book make it a point to help readers learn how to take advantage of big conversations, and through that, get ahead in life. The book provides ideas and tips on how you can start a conversation with anyone about anything under the sun.
How to Make People Like You in 90 Second or Less by Nicholas Boothman
This self-help book stresses the importance of first impressions – it does matter and is a big deal in social culture.
Click: Ten Truths for Building Extraordinary Relationships by George Fraser
This book talks about how connecting with others is the best way to network. More than its value to business, networking is building and taking special relationships to the next level. The book provides ten tips to master this art of networking.
Games People Play: The Basic Handbook of Transactional Analysis by Eric Berne
This classic book is the go-to guide for individuals who want to learn how to unmask the games people play during social interactions. As the title implies, it analyzes how people in a social situation converse, transact, and ultimately, interact with each other.
Dealing with People You Can’t Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst by Dr. Rick Brinkman and Dr. Rick Kirschner
This updated bestseller helps to arm yourself with social skills to deal with whiners, nitpickers, and all around negative individuals. The new version includes ways to handle crass and unscrupulous people brought by the digital world.
Personality Plus: How to Understand Others by Understanding Yourself by Florence Littauer
This book talks about your personality – how to better understand yourself so you can present “you” to other people. It also tackles the different personalities you see and the best ways to deal with them.
Novels
Novels are made up. However, the feelings and thoughts they stir up are genuine. These emotions grow out of your connection to characters of the story. The “bond” happens from the distinct connection between the characters in the context of a bigger and more realistic society. As you go through the highs and lows of a well-written story, you develop connections in the social and mental parts of your brain. And as the research has proven, novels offer a better understanding of people and a much deeper empathy for them, which leads to more evolved social skills. Experts have also stated that outstanding works of fiction (like the five books below) have supported the notion of human rights.
Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
The story revolves around Emma Bovary and her relationship with her husband and her lover. The author enables readers to view the world through Emma’s eyes and from an outsider’s POV all at once.
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
This novel offers arguably the best love story of all time. It depicts how love can grow between two people only when they truly understand one another.
The Sorrows of Young Werther by Johann von Goethe
This book marks the start of the Romantic Era, a period that lifted powerful feelings to great importance in the manner people experience art. The story is about the highs and lows of loving someone who is not meant to be yours.
Middlemarch by George Eliot
Renowned author Virginia Woolf called this novel as among the only few English novels created for the grownups. This is a story of how the level of one’s emotions is accountable for the level of one’s relationship with others. It’s the first English book that includes fully-articulated images of an array of characters both from the outside and from the inside of their experiences.
The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid
This work of fiction is relevant at this time of global turmoil and uncertainty. It’s a story of a brilliant Pakistani man who finds himself unable to continue his work after 9/11. This novel will make you pause, think, and consider life, culture, beliefs, and people on a much deeper level.
The next time you see someone whose nose is buried in a thick book, don’t smirk or laugh. Instead, follow his lead. Reading is a wonderful journey. It gives you a lot more than just to acquire or refine your social skills. As bookworms would attest, “reading is life.”
