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Anyone who has ever taken a photo with an iPhone will know the joys of Instagram. What else could turn a simple picture of your brand-new floral Doc Martins into a sun-bleached work of art? Let’s face it, everything from a park bench to a post-it note looks better with a filter on – especially when you can share it with millions. But how do you know if you’re Instagramming just a little too much? Do you have permanent grass stains on your knees from trying to get that perfect angle? If so, you might want to check out the rest of these symptoms…
- A ten minute walk takes you 40, because you can’t not take a picture of that cloud/bird/ park/hobo’s shoe/traffic light/muddy Tesco bag…
- Where some can’t eat before saying grace, you can’t eat before taking a picture.
- You can’t wash up your empty plate unless you’ve taken a picture of that too.
- You fit the scene to the filter you want to use.
- You culled any friends that don’t use Instagram – how are you going to keep up with them if you can’t follow them?
- You considered having a child to gain more followers with cute baby pics.
- You take at least four photos of your feet per week day.
- You avoid telling people you’re unemployed by listing your occupation as “photoblogger”.
- You are saving up your dole money to buy Instaglasses.
- When others take arm length photos it just looks lame. When you take them, its art.
- You believe that Facebook buying Instagram was the first sign of the apocalypse.
- You frown upon people who possess real cameras. I mean, why didn’t they just get an iPhone?
- You have stopped an old woman in the street to take a photo of her as she just looks so… deep, man.
- You clean your bathroom more than any other room just to make sure those mirror photos are flawless.
- You bought a dog just to have a willing subject to pose for you.
- You don’t even like coffee, you just like the way it looks in sepia.
- You have 14 pairs of novelty sunglasses, solely for photos.
- Your last relationship ended when you found out they just didn’t “get” your pictures.
- You can’t believe that no one’s talent spotted you yet.
- You consider uploading 40 photos a day to be unproductive.
- You know if you printed your photos on canvas, you could easily sell them for £3,000 each. But who wants to be a sellout?
- You organize InstaMeets on a weekly basis.
- You follow more than 700 Instagrammers, but only to prove that your photos are better than theirs.
- You spend a good 30 minutes rearranging your food/desk/friends/family to get the perfect set up.
- You have got into a fight over taking a photo of someone without asking.
For Further Reading
- How to Look Better in Personal Google Results [Infographic]
- The Online Reputation Management Guide
- The Pocket Guide to Consumer Generated Media
- Protecting Your Brand’s Reputation Online
- How to Keep Your Reputation Spotless Online
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