Last Updated on September 6, 2024
One of the most famous movies of the 1980s, Beetlejuice, is a classic American fantasy comedy released in 1988. The movie is directed by the legend Tim Burton; the film revolves around a recently deceased couple (played by Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis) and has become ghosts that now haunt their former home. However, these ghosts are harassed by the family that has moved in, and as a result, they hire a ghost named Beetlejuice to drive the new family out!
It is a truly hilarious movie, and there is a range of brilliant quotes to choose from. Many of the quotes deal with topics like anxiety, death, and mortality which is nice coming from a comedy.
You might find that some of the quotes below will make you think and get you scratching your head and thinking about how you view your life (“my whole life is a dark room. One big, dark room”)
For those that are yet to enjoy the comical beauty that is Beetlejuice, the 40+ quotes below might be enough to convince you to watch it at long last; trust us, it is worth the effort, you’ll thank us later. So let’s jump in!
1. Barbara: “Rule number two: The living usually won’t see the dead.”
Adam: “Won’t or can’t?”
Barbara: “It just says ‘won’t.’ God, this book is so stupid. I can’t understand anything in it.”
2. “I heard. Tore your faces right off. It obviously doesn’t do any good to pull your heads off in front of people if they can’t see you!” — Juno
3. “I plan to have a stroke from the amount of MSG that’s in this food.” — Lydia Deetz
4. “Sick! Sexual perversion! If you’re going to do weird sexual stuff, you ought to stay in your bedroom, OK?” — Lydia Deetz
5. “Let’s turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.” — Beetlejuice
6. “If I knew then what I know now I wouldn’t have had my little ‘accident.’” — Receptionist
7. “Whew! Thank you, thank you! That is why I won’t do two shows a night anymore, babe, I won’t, I won’t do ’em.” — Beetlejuice
8. “Welcome to Winter River, museum of natural greed; a monument to the bored businessman! Come on a little closer! Step right up! Test your strength!” — Beetlejuice
9. “I’ll eat anything you want me to eat, I’ll swallow anything you want me to swallow! So, come on down, and I’ll chew on a dog!” — Beetlejuice
10. “I myself am strange and unusual.” — Lydia Deetz
11. Adam Maitland: “What are your qualifications?”
Beetlejuice: “Ah. Well, I attended Juilliard. I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen the Exorcist 167 times, and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it. Not to mention the fact that you’re talking to a dead guy! Now, what do you think!? You think I’m qualified?”
12. Barbara Maitland: “No. Lydia. We’re dead.”
Lydia Deetz: “I wanna be dead too.”
13. “Barb, honey… we’re dead. I don’t think we have very much to worry about anymore.” — Adam Maitland
14. [After kicking down a model tree] “Nice f***ing model!” — Beetlejuice
15. “The only one I think I can deal with is Edgar Allan Poe’s daughter. I think she understands me.” — Beetlejuice
16. “You have got to take the upper hand in all situations or people, whether they’re dead or alive, will walk all over you.” — Delia Deetz
17. “I am alone. I am *utterly* alone.” — Lydia Deetz
18. Charles Deetz: “As soon as we get settled, we’ll build you a darkroom in the basement, okay?”
Lydia Deetz: “My whole life is a dark room. One big, dark room.”
Delia Deetz: “So you were miserable in New York City, and now you’re going to be miserable out here in the sticks. At least someone’s life hasn’t been upheaved.”
19. Otho: “There’s absolutely no organic flow through.”
Delia Deetz: “I noticed that too; it’s like a giant… ant farm.”
20. “This is my art, and it is dangerous. You think I want to die like this!” — Delia Deetz
21. “I’m the ghost with the most, babe.” — Beetlejuice
22. “I’m tellin’ ya, honey, she meant nothin’ to me. Nothin’ at all!” — Beetlejuice
23. “There’s a word for people in our situation: ghosts.” — Adam
24. “Don’t mind her. She’s still upset because somebody dropped a house on her sister.” — Otho
25. “These aren’t my rules. Come to think of it, I don’t have any rules.” — Beetlejuice
26. “Never trust the living!” — Juno
27. “I’ve read through that handbook for the recently deceased. It says: ‘Live people ignore the strange and unusual.’” — Lydia Deetz
28. “Please, they’re dead. It’s a little late to be neurotic.” — Delia Deetz
29. “What’s the good of being a ghost if you can’t frighten people away?” — Barbara
30. “A little gasoline, blowtorch, no problem.” — Delia Deetz
31. “Go ahead, make my millennium.” — Beetlejuice
32. “Maybe you can relax in a haunted house, but I can’t.” — Lydia Deetz
33. “I didn’t realize you were into the supernatural.” — Bernard
34. “Not so fast, round boy. We’re gonna have some laughs.” — Beetlejuice
35. “If you don’t let me gut out this house and make it my own, I will go insane, and I will take you with me!” — Delia Deetz
36. “And look at that kitchen. You’re finally going to be able to cook a decent meal.” — Charles Deetz
37. Lydia: “Are you the guys hiding out in the attic?”
Adam: “We’re ghosts!”
Lydia: “What do you look like under there?”
Adam: “Aren’t you scared?”
Lydia: “I’m not scared of sheets. Are you gross under there? Are you Night of the Living Dead under there? Like all bloody veins and pus?”
Adam: “Night of the what?”
Lydia: “Living Dead. It’s a movie.”
Barbara: “You know, if I had seen a ghost at your age, I would have been scared out of my wits.”
38. Messenger: “How do I look? There are no mirrors on this side.”
Adam: “Fine, you look fine.”
Messenger: “Yeah?”
Barbara: “Fine.”
Messenger: “Thanks, I’ve been feeling a little flat. (He laughs and goes through the crevice in the filing room.)”
39. Adam: “Cabin fever, hon?”
Barbara: “Well, I can’t clean anything properly. The vacuum’s out in the garage and we can’t leave the house. Why don’t they tell us something? I mean, where are all the other dead people in the world? Why is it just you and me?”
Adam: “Maybe this is heaven.”
Barbara: “In heaven, there wouldn’t be dust on everything.”
40. Delia: “Open this door, you dead people, or we’ll bust it down and we’ll drag you out by the ropes you hang yourselves with!”
Lydia: “Shh! They didn’t commit suicide.”
Delia: “It doesn’t matter. Lydia, I have a chance to teach you something here: You have got to take the upper hand in all situations or people, whether they’re dead or alive.”
41. “It’s showtime.” — Beetlejuice
42. “We come for your daughter, Chuck.” — Beetlejuice
43. “My whole life is a dark room. One big, dark room.” — Lydia Deetz
44. Barbara Maitland: “We’re very unhappy.”
Juno: “What did you expect, you’re dead.”
