50 Hysterical Dentist Jokes That Will Tickle Your Funny Bone! 

Last Updated on September 2, 2024

In the wise words of Mark Twain, “Humanity has unquestionably one really effective weapon – laughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecution – these can lift at a colossal humbug – push it a little – weaken it a little, century by century, but only laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”

Mark was a firm believer that arguments and disagreements all fade in the face of laughter. In succinct terms, once you share a laugh with someone, this forms a connection, and prior disputes seem to fade away. 

Some philosophers believe that Mark Twain was wrong. They think that the thought of laughter being the solution to disagreements is simply ludicrous. This school of thought emphasizes that only deliberation and compromise can solve conflicts.

What do I believe? You see, both schools of thought have their merits and truths, respectively. However, both are incomplete. Mark Twain’s approach gives an introduction, while the latter provides a middle ground. Ultimately, they both need each other to survive. 

What am I saying? By making someone laugh, you establish a connection with that person. This action opens the doorway for negotiation and compromise. I call this the “hybrid approach.”  

I could chatter about the nuances of laughter and disagreements all day long. However, that is not our topic for today. This article shall discuss two concepts that you would hardly see in the same sentence: dentistry and humor. 

As we all know, dentistry is a profession that deals with the treatment and prevention of oral infections, diseases, and general discomfort. This profession ranges from removal of tonsils and consultation to correction of jaw malformation.

For as long as I can remember, going to the dentist has been associated with anxiety and fear. You can’t blame people, though. With the presence of sharp tools and the general stench of fear, tension is bound to set in. 

However, you cannot let that fear control you. You must realize that these are trained professionals who want to help you get better. As such, this article is dedicated to exploring the most humorous dentistry jokes to make your next visit much easier. Without further ado, let us begin!  

1. What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty (2:30). 
2. The dentist says my teeth are like a string of pearls. Each one has a hole through it!
3. Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth. But don’t worry; it’ll just take five minutes.
4. Patient: And how much will it cost?
5. Dentist: It’s $90.
6. Patient: $90 for just a few minutes of work???
7. Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like.
8. Why does a dentist seem moody?
9. Because he always looks down in the mouth.
10. What do you call a dentist’s advice? His fill-osophy!
11. What award did the dentist win? A little plaque.
12. What do dentists call the x-rays they take of patients’ teeth? Tooth pics.
13. What did the dentist say to the tooth when he had to leave the room? I’ll fill you in when I get back.
14. Which teeth do you need to brush? The ones you want to keep.
15.  If a kid has 25 candy bars and they eat 22 of them, what do they have? Cavities.
16.  What did the dentist say when Tiger Woods came in for an appointment?    You have a hole in one.
17.  My teeth were stained, so the dentist asked me, “do you smoke or drink coffee?” I told him I drink it.
18.  Dentist: Can you please help me? Scream as loud as you can, like you’re in a lot of pain. Patient: Why? My tooth isn’t hurting this time. Dentist: There are many patients in the waiting room, and I don’t want to miss the game!
19.  Dentist: Do you floss? Patient: Yes, I floss religiously. Dentist: Really? Patient: Of course, on Christmas and Easter.
20.  Patient: What did you do before becoming a dentist? Dentist: For a few years, I was in the army. Patient: Oh? What did you do? Dentist: I was a drill sergeant.
21.  The dentist told his patient to open wider. “My goodness!” he said. “You’ve got the biggest cavity I’ve seen, the biggest cavity I’ve seen.” “Ok,” said the patient, “but I’m scared enough. Do you need to repeat yourself?” “I didn’t,” said the dentist. “That was the echo.”
22.  A young boy was sitting in the waiting room for a little bit after getting his tooth pulled. The receptionist asked him if he was ok. “Yes, but I didn’t like the bad word the dentist used while he was pulling my tooth.” “What did he say?” asked the receptionist, worried. “Oops.”
23.  A young girl was talking to her dad about what she wanted to be when she grew up. She was thinking about becoming a heart doctor or a tooth doctor. “Dentist,” said her father. “Why?” the little girl asked. “We only have one heart, but we have 32 teeth.”
24.  A man goes to the dentist to ask how much it would be to pull a tooth. “$100,” said the dentist. “Oh, that’s expensive,” said the main. “Do you have anything cheaper?” “That’s the normal price for an extraction,” said the dentist. The man thinks about it, “what about if you don’t use the anesthetic?” “Well, that would be unusual, but we could do that. It would be about $75.” The man thinks some more. “What about if you used a trainee and no anesthetic?” “Well,” said the dentist,” I think that could work, but it would be a lot more painful. I think that would be about $35.” The man thought some more. “That’s still a lot. What if you make it a training session with a student doing the extraction, and the other students can watch?” The dentist says, “Ok, that would be good for the students, but it will be traumatic to have it done that way. I’ll charge you $5 for that.” “Great,” said the man. “That’s perfect. Can I book my wife for her appointment on Wednesday?
25.  My dentist said I should try flossing more. I’ve started taking dance lessons now.
26.  Whose job is the most dangerous in Transylvania? The dentist who works on Dracula.
27.  What does the dentist give a bear with a hurting tooth? Anything it wants.
28.  What’s the dentist’s favorite kind of dinosaur? A floss-iraptor.
29.  What made the snowman go to see a dentist? He was suffering from frostbite.
30.   What does the dentist do when he’s on a roller coaster? Brace himself.
31.  What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
32.  What do tuba players use to brush their teeth? A tuba toothpaste.
33.  My dentist has a TV in the exam room. I go there for Netflix and drill.
34.  I have to have a root canal done. Just the thought of it is frightening.
35.  My dentist asked me to open up, but I don’t know him well enough to confide in him.
36.  Until it came out in conversation, no one knew she had a dental implant.
37.  Dentists practice their trade by going through many drills.
38.  The lawyer asked his dentist to give him a retainer.
39.  In Panama, dental care is called a route canal.
40.  Word-of-mouth was how I got my job at the dentist’s office.
41.  He said to put my money where my mouth is, so I got gold fillings.
42.  When I went to the dentist, he put all caps on my teeth. Now I can’t stop shouting.
43.  What game did the dentist play when she was a child? Caps and robbers.
44.  What did the dentist say to Tiger Woods? You have a hole in one. 
45.  What do you call a dentist that doesn’t like tea? Denis
46.  Why did the dentist make a poor date with the manicurist? Because they fought both tooth and nail!
47.  Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dishes. Dishes, who? Dishes how I talk since I lost my teeth!
48.  What did the 90-year-old say to his great-grandson? I miss the days of being your age when my teeth were in my mouth 24/7!
49.  What was the tooth called who went to Oxford University? The Wisdom Tooth.
50.  What do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics.
51.  What did Ash Ketchum say to his tooth when he pulled it out? I Chews You!
52.  What did the dentist see at the North Pole? A molar bear.
53.  Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist’s window? Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.
54.  Why did the deer need braces? He had buck teeth.
55.  When a new dentist was set up in a small town, he quickly became the latest “Painless” dentist. But a local lad quickly disputed this. “He’s a fake!” he told his mates. “He’s not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth I bit him – and he yelled like anyone else.”

Ultimately, the power of laughter is overwhelming, irrefutable, and pure. It brings people together, fosters connections, and provides amicable solutions to disagreements. If you have a dentist appointment coming up, these jokes might be the perfect conversation starters and make the appointment more enjoyable.

To this end, I leave you with the wise words of Carolyn Birmingham. “A smile starts on the lips, a grin spreads to the eyes, a chuckle comes from the belly; but a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, overflows, and bubbles all around.”