Last Updated on January 24, 2023
Online communities are notorious for getting scrappy in forums or in the comment sections. Perhaps you’ve tangled with people before and lost. So, if you’re reading this, it might be safe to guess that you are tired of receiving zingers online (or in person) and you cannot respond with a witty comeback.
No worries. We have compiled a quick list of twenty hilarious insults that you can wield to the amusement of yourself – and those looking on. They are short, sweet, and deliver a quick punch. So go ahead, pick your favorites and add them to your personal arsenal of insults to use whenever you need them!
1. Go eat a cactus.
2. You seem like the kind of person that watches workout videos in bed.
3. I bet you look up and down before crossing the street.
4. You probably sleep with jeans on.
5. You look like the type of person who likes the word “moist.”
6. You seem like the kind of person who searches insults online.
7. You’re the human equivalent of a band-aid in a salad.
8. Go drink a warm Pepsi.
9. If I were a bird, you would be the first person I’d poop on.
10. I hope you sleep on a warm pillow.
11. Go step in a puddle with your socks on.
12. Roses are red. violets are blue. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo. Do not worry, i’ll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at you.
13. If there was an award for laziness, you’d need someone to pick it up for you.
14. You’re as useless as the “ueue” in “queue.”
15. Go sit on a traffic cone.
16. Yo mama so ugly I’m not surprised you’re her kid.
17. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.
18. You’re like a Russian doll—full of yourself.
19. Someone getting drunk and taping crayons to their feet could write better than you.
20. You would struggle to find hay in a haystack.