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When fights begin, there are shots and barbs left on all sides. The partner gets more attention, being seen by the man, being cared for with affection and respect. The man makes the typical phrase: I need freedom; I can’t take that much pressure. The woman does not understand, after all, what she wants is simply to be heard.

But … who said the man wants to hear? At best, he tries to give a quick solution to his companion’s phrase, trying to get rid of the issue.

Often women will say something to start a dialogue, comment or vent… not to get a solution. The man, not wanting to enter into dialogue where he has to expose himself, tries to finish the conversation as quickly as possible; giving an answer that closes the whole matter.

Of course this is just a generic example. There are varying behaviors, between partners, within a relationship even when the science of love relationship turns to the serious one.

Grief after breakup

Right after the break-up, you will be faced with what is referred to as the 7 stages of breakup grief, which includes:

  1. Denial
  2. Desperate for answers
  3. Anger
  4. Bargaining & relapse
  5. Depression
  6. Acceptance
  7. Hope

Some of these different stages of a breakup can be devastating, and this is why many people end up getting back together after separating.

When the grief kicks in it hit’s them hard, and their thought process start look something like this:

“This must be a mistake, I’m in so much pain, I miss them so much, how could I be so stupid.”

And before they know it, there at stage 4: Bargaining and relapse, trying to get back with their ex.

This path can lead down the road to confusing pain with love, thinking that pain represent a statement confirming that they actually do love their ex, when in reality they don’t.

This is why it’s important to understand that experiencing pain when separating from someone does not necessarily mean that the relationship was good or right. It could just mean that their dealing with grief.

Experiencing heartbreak is a challenging process to go through, but knowing about the 7 stages of grief can defiantly make it easier.

But what causes the wear and tear of the relationship, really?

Broken Glass

All people are driven by their own emotions; this is described in Karmic relationship theory. It is because of these emotions that we take actions and then give them justifications.

For example, if inside me there is the emotion of feeling trapped, since I was a child, when I am charged by my wife, I can perfectly take the attitude of leaving home constantly, to go drinking with friends, play ball or know more what.

It is necessary to know one’s own emotions, to know the other

All people are driven by their own emotions; this is described in Karmic relationship theory. It is because of these emotions that we take actions and then give them justifications.

For example, if inside me there is the emotion of feeling trapped, since I was a child, when I am charged by my wife, I can perfectly take the attitude of leaving home constantly, to go drinking with friends, play ball or know more what.

Attracting your soulmate and what justification do I give for this? Oh, my wife is a pain in the ass. This is not true, because I leave home because I feel a burden inside me, and any collection, whether of the woman, the boss or the son, deeply irritates me.

If, on the other hand, the woman has the emotion of insecurity and of trying to feel protected, she may not fully realize that the husband needs to be welcomed, and throws upon him the responsibility for accepting her. And she justifies: you are insensitive. This is not true, for she charges a man not for what he fails to do, but rather because he feels an emptiness within himself, a need for affection.

Again, I ask you to take the example above, just as an example. There are millions of men who feel an emotional need to be seduced. And there are millions of women who feel the need for freedom.

But one thing is for sure: relationships break down for lack of true dialogue. It seems that some mystery of the universe puts, face to face, two people with emotional needs that need to be seen. And both have the gift of adjusting, when each one, is sincere with their own emotions and makes that clear.

But here among us: who can look in the eye of the other and say,

You know. I feel a need to be petted, and feel that you do not like too much contact. I feel unprotected.
It’s easier said, you do not care! It is easier to accuse the other.

What we do not touch is that, in fact, the emotion was already in us, before we know the partner. The need to be welcomed already existed, and according to the systemic family constellation, is even inherited from our ancestors. We were born with this emotional pain. And we are taught to blame someone for it.

In principle, the father or the mother. Then the husband or the wife. Sometimes we blame a traumatic fact: I am this way because I was molested … Or: I stayed like this because they left me in prison at home as a child …

But let’s be very pragmatic. If a relationship is going through turbulence, and the person really wants a solution, it hurts whoever hurts, some brave but effective actions are important:

 

1. Take your share.

Hand asking for forgiveness

If you solve your part and the other does not, you will be ready to find someone better. You can also search for help online if you don’t find anyone to share with. Even if you have someone to share, online help is something that cannot be completely ignored.

To clarify, there are various online applications that you can use to find advice, find information or search for anything that can help you get out of the crisis in your relationship with your partner. Checking your relationship with a love psychic app is our recommendation.

 

2. Investigate for yourself the emotions that drive your attitudes.

If you are looking for someone to support you, you are provoking a relationship of dependency. If you seek someone who completes it, you will be provoking the same. If you seek someone to serve you or obey you, it will provoke an unbalanced relationship. Love is not about obeying but about understanding. This is a big difference between forced love and true love.

 

3. You are whole.

Beautiful pink rose laying on a white table

Even if emotions say no, there is already everything within you that you need to be happy. A good relationship is made with another person who perceives himself as complete, complete. Two righteous beings can enjoy life. Two beings who seek to complete themselves suck each other.

 

4. Look for this “wholeness” step by step.

Of course, in the beginning, it is difficult to accept and believe in its fullness. But it’s the only way. Do not seek to change the other, nor make it better. This is not up to you.  An open relationship is ruled by two instead of one.

 

5. Do nothing for the other. Just do it for yourself.

Healing your chakra and when you love yourself, really, and change your attitudes by showing love for yourself, those who are by your side receive the benefits.

 

6. Observe the words of the other and do not judge.

Observe others’ attitudes and do not judge. Notice what the emotions behind the other are saying. You’re going to ask me: how do you do this?

The answer is simple: the more you look at your emotions and accept them; you will also accept the other’s. Looking at pain with complacent eyes, free from criticism, has the gift of healing the pain.

But if you can’t look at your own emotion in an exempt way, you will not be able to look at the other’s. And you know what? If you realize only this, that you can’t look at the emotion and the pain, it is already very good! It means that emotions, which until now have been unconsciously governing your relationship, are now being seen. This alone has the gift of bringing about an adjustment, a beginning of change.

In the end, everything is about patience and self-control. No matter how difficult the problem is, it can be overcome by good dialogue. The good dialogue is one of basics of a healthy marriage. It is impossible to avoid the crisis completely but striving for it to be done as well as possible is our goal. Hopefully this article can inspire you.

Posted by Nipanan Lifestyle

Hello, I'm Nipanan. I love researching and creating engaging content to share with the world. Feel free to check out my website for more unique content.

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