Last Updated on August 9, 2024
Every Halloween is another wonderful moment to spend quality time with your near and dear ones as you pull spooky pranks and tell ghostly jokes that capture the spirit of the occasion.
You probably already have an amazing collection of Halloween-themed stories to while the evening away. But if you’re blessed with kids of different ages (including young ones with incredibly short attention span), finding one single story that appeals to all ages may not be a walk in the park. That’s where Halloween jokes and puns come in.
Halloween jokes are remarkably easy to share. You can drop the puns on the go without necessarily having to round everyone up. Of course, there’s always the little challenge of finding the most hilarious jokes to tell on Halloween. But not anymore.
We’ve rounded up 80 funniest Halloween jokes and puns that will surely leave your kids rolling in laughter. The jokes have been sorted into different thematic categories. You’ll find puns on ghosts, vampires, monsters, witches, and everything in between.
The best part about these jokes is that they’re all G-rated. Whether your kid is five or thirteen, you’ll surely find something funny enough to make them laugh their lungs out. First off, let’s begin by highlighting the criteria for honing in on the best Halloween jokes and puns for your little ones.
How to Select the Best Halloween Jokes and Puns for Kids
Several factors influence the choice of the perfect Halloween jokes and puns for kids.
Obviously, you want to go for the funniest jokes you can find. The puns should be able to leave even your most dispassionate kids rolling on the floor with laughter.
You might also consider educational jokes. Such jokes allow your kids to learn a meaningful lesson while getting entertained. For instance, you could tell a joke that speaks out against loneliness and solitude. Any child hearing the joke will grow up believing in the power of social unity.
Most importantly, the perfect Halloween jokes and puns for kids should be appropriate for all audiences. Spare your dirty jokes for your spouse and peers.
And needless to mention, Halloween jokes should be about the very occasion you’re celebrating. The puns can address different themes provided that the topics are related to Halloween.
Funny Halloween Jokes and Riddles
1. One room is left out of a ghost’s house. What room is it? The living room.
2. What candy do you eat on the playground? Recess pieces.
3. What did the scarecrow say to the kid dressed up as corn? That costume is a-MAZE-ing.
4. What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.
5. When is it bad luck to see a black cat? When you’re a mouse.
6. Why are cemeteries so popular? Everyone’s dying to get in.
7. Why are spiders great web developers? They like finding bugs.
8. Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was outstanding in his field.
9. Why didn’t the scarecrow eat dinner? He was already stuffed.
10. Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road? It had no guts.
Halloween Pumpkins Jokes
11. What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin? “You look a little sick.”
12. What’s the best thing to put into pumpkin pie? Your teeth.
13. Why do pumpkins do so badly in school? Because they had all their brains scooped out.
14. Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches? They have no hands to knock on the door.
Halloween Ghost Jokes
15. On which day are ghosts most scary? Fright-day!
16. What day do ghosts do their howling? On Moan-day!
17. What do ghosts wear when their eyesight is blurry? Spooktacles.
18. What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
19. What does a ghost do to stay safe in a car? He puts on his sheet belt.
20. What does a ghost keep in his stable? Nightmares.
21. What is a ghost’s least favorite candy? Life Savers.
22. What kind of roads do ghosts haunt? Dead ends.
23. What position does a ghost play in soccer? Ghoul-keeper.
24. What room do ghosts avoid? The living room.
25. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? Ice scream.
26. Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Day-scare centers.
27. Why are ghosts such bad liars? You can see right through them.
28. Why are some ghosts so happy? Every shroud has a silver lining.
29. Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
30. Why don’t ghosts like rain? It dampens their spirits.
31. Why was the ghost crying? He wanted his mummy.
32. Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
Halloween Vampire Jokes
33. How can you tell a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly donuts.
34. How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it may concern.
35. How did the vampire race finish? Neck and neck!
36. What is a vampire’s favorite dog? A bloodhound.
37. What kind of boat does a vampire travel in? A blood vessel.
38. What type of coffee does a vampire drink? De-coffin-ated!
39. What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires? Fangs-giving!
40. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? Neck-tarine.
41. Where do vampires eat their lunch? At the casketeria.
42. Why do people like vampires so much? Because they are FANGtastic.
43. Why don’t vampires have a lot of friends? Because they are a pain in the neck.
Halloween Monster Jokes
44. Did you hear about the monster who ate his own house? He was homesick.
45. What do monsters turn on in the summer time? The scare conditioner.
46. What do you call a hairy monster in a river? A weir-wolf!
47. What is the best way to speak to a monster? From a long distance away!
48. What kind of monster loves to disco? The boogieman.
Halloween Witches Jokes
49. How do you make a witch itch? Take away the W.
50. What does a cool witch ride instead of a motorcycle? A Brrrrrr – oomstick.
51. What do witches put in their hair? Scare spray!
52. What do witches race on? Vroomsticks!
53. What do you call two witches who share a room? Broom mates!
54. What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? Spelling.
55. What noise does a witch’s breakfast cereal make? Snap, cackle and pop!
56. Where does the witch’s frog sit? On a toadstool.
57. Why do witches wear name tags? So they will know which witch is which.
58. Why did the witches cancel their baseball game? They couldn’t find their bats.
Halloween Skeleton Jokes
59. How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle its funny bone.
60. I would love to make a skeleton joke, but I doubt if you would find it very humerus.
61. What did the skeleton buy at the grocery store? Spare ribs.
62. What is a skeleton’s favourite instrument? A trombone.
63. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball? Because he had no BODY to go with.
64. Why do skeletons hate parties? They have no-body to dance with.
65. Why don’t skeletons watch horror movies? They don’t have the guts.
Funny Halloween Knock Knock Jokes
66. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bee. Bee who? Bee-ware, all the ghosts are out on Halloween!
67. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ben. Ben who? Ben waiting for candy all day!
68. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo! Boo who? Don’t cry! It’s only Halloween!
69. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fangs. Fangs who? Fangs for letting me in!
70. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frank! Frank who? Frankenstein!
71. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ghost. Ghost who? Ghost stand over there and I’ll bring you some candy!
72. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howl. Howl who? Howl you know who’s here if you don’t open the door!
73. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice cream! Ice cream who? Ice cream every time I see a zombie!
74. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice cream! Ice cream who? Ice cream, you scream, we all scream for Halloween!
75. Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Iguana. Iguana who? Iguana eat all your candy.
76. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ivan. Ivan who? Ivan to suck your blood!
77. Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Phillip! Phillip who? Phillip my bag with candy!
78. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Voodoo. Voodoo who? Voodoo you think you are?
79. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of you is giving me all your candy?
80. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witches. Witches who? Witches the way to the haunted cemetery?
Wrap Up
There goes our amazing collection of spooktacular Halloween jokes to share with your little ones. Feel free to save this list for reference whenever you’ll be looking for the perfect jokes to keep your kids amused on Halloween.
