Last Updated on September 2, 2024
While some might argue that most modern relationships should work in certain progressive steps, others feel there should be no set structure or timeline involved. If you’re reading this, you’re probably concerned about how to approach the issue of cohabitating with your partner. This poses a new question: how soon is too soon to move in?
When to Move In Together?
You’ll hear this often because it’s true: “there is no strict template for living life,” neither are there any specific rules you must follow. With that in mind, you should understand that moving in with your significant other depends on many factors.
Relationship experts would typically advise that you wait at least a year before considering making such a decision. While it is tempting to go at a fast pace during the honeymoon phase, it is not advisable to consolidate your lives just yet. A one-year window is enough time to get to know your partner; if you still wish to cohabitate after this period, then, by all means, do so.
What to Discuss Before Moving In
After establishing that you might want to move in with your significant other. The next step is to have an honest conversation with your partner to ensure the whole process is seamless and stress-free.
Your Motives
The desire to feel closer to your significant other is the expected reason most couples have when they decide to live together. Nevertheless, there are other unique reasons people decide to move in together, such as needing a change of environment or splitting bills. Whatever your motives are, ensure you’re very clear in explaining them to your significant other so they can know exactly what you expect of them.
Your Future Plans
One necessary thing to discuss with your partner is where they see themselves in the future and what part you will play. Confirm that you’re on the same page about your future trajectories and can readily support each other.
It would be pretty sad to think you have a future with someone who doesn’t see you in theirs, so be open, direct, and honest with them when having this conversation.
Personal Hygiene
How well or often your partner grooms themselves will extend to their living space, so sharing a house with them can be a bit chaotic if it turns out they’re not as sanitary as hoped.
Thankfully, hygiene is something one can improve with time. Nevertheless, if you ever notice any unsanitary habits, do bring it up to your significant other and let them know it’s unacceptable. This might be a sensitive conversation, so be kind but firm about your hygiene standards.
Financial Responsibility
Living together means sharing rent, utility bills, groceries, and other miscellaneous expenses with your partner. It is relevant to know how they manage their finances.
You might not be comfortable bringing up money, but failing to discuss it beforehand could be catastrophic to the quality of your living situation.
Compatibility
One of the major reasons why couples are advised to take their time to form a deep connection with their partners before they move in with them is compatibility. You get to know their personality, values (religious, political, or views on children), family and friends, if they have pets or whether they would like to have some in the future, how they treat others, their response to difficult situations, and how they behave in conflicts. These are things you should learn before you commit to living together.
Expectations
Picturing what living together would be like and setting realistic expectations can only happen once you truly know your partner.
You need to discuss things such as:
- How to communicate feelings during misunderstandings.
- Who does what chores and how frequently.
- How to approach your social life: how often you’ll host friends and events; will you spend holidays with your respective families or take turns; how to foster intimacy and keep the passion alive.
- You should also know your partner’s medical history, so you know what living habits to adopt to make life easier for them.
Boundaries
Laying your fears and wishes with your significant other shouldn’t be too hard when you’ve familiarized yourself with each other deeply. Consequently, you should request healthy breathers when you need them and reciprocate the understanding when they ask for space.
Property and Space
Sharing a combined space means acknowledging that you and your significant other have limited space to contend with. Consider that and compromise accordingly when planning the whole moving process. Don’t be the person who finds out your things won’t fit your new home the day you move in.
Knowing When You’re Ready
You’ve addressed the difficult topics with your partner and cleared up any doubts, yet, you’re still unsure whether you’re making the right decision.
You can try two methods: give yourself a trial period by staying over. You’ll learn more about your significant other by staying at their place on weekends and some nights every other week. You could even bring your pet(s) to test the waters. This will give you a more realistic idea of how you function together in the same space.
The second method is to go on a vacation together. This helps you see how they handle pressure in real time and how organized they are.
It is also noteworthy to have a backup plan if things don’t work out. That can mean keeping your apartment for a few months and remaining financially independent to ensure you’re not trapped in the relationship.
All in All
Deciding to move in with your significant other can depend on many things, but ultimately, you should consider what is best for you. Never make such a big move cause someone has pressured you into doing so
The question of when to move in is up to you, and with our detailed guide, you might find that you might be more ready than you realize.