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Creating memorable experiences promote the health of any relationship.
Whether it’s sharing a meal during the holidays and special occasions or going on a road trip, enjoying the presence of one another makes a lasting imprint in our minds, something that we relive and talk about long after the activities are over.
Recent findings reveal fascinating information about how memory formation. Researchers at the University of Birmingham found out our minds retrieve memories by reconstructing a past experience in reverse order. A separate study by the California Institute of Technology said that neurons in our brain are key to long-term memory.
Meanwhile, psychologist Daniel Kahneman and brothers Chip and Dan Heath explain that people don’t remember all the details of their past and instead remember “snapshots” of events.
How People Remember: Peak-End Theory
Kahneman and the Heaths theorize that our recollection of an event is influenced by what we felt during the “peaks” or most intense points, whether positive or negative, of that occurrence and the ending of that experience. They add that people recall these “highlights” more than the actual duration of the event.
The sibling professors and authors say that “peak” moments are characterized by one or more of four things: connection such as weddings and reunions, pride or moments of courage or achievement, elevation or times of intense happiness that come with pleasure and surprise, and insight or moments that give us clarity about ourselves and the world.
Meanwhile, Kahneman added that people have two “selves” when it comes to memory: the experiencing self and the narrating self. Our experiencing self is aware of what is happening to us moment by moment while our narrating self gathers and forms a story about the highlights that remain in our head. It is the narrating self that edits and interprets events.
Studies showed that people tended to give a positive evaluation of an event if there was a segment of decreased discomfort to a generally unpleasant or painful experience. On the other hand, negative endings can turn a generally happy event such as a date, vacation, or sports tournament into a bad memory.
To retain good memories, psychologists suggest that we “reframe” our perspective of an experience by not dwelling on the negative incidents within the longer event.
For example, we can find the positive aspect of waiting in line, such as enjoying the delicious meal afterwards or being able to share the meal with someone special or a person you’ve wanted to see for a long time. We can also focus on something positive at the end of an experience if we cannot do something to make an activity end on a high note.
Creating Positive Memories that Boost Relationships
We need to spend time with people we love to make those special connections solid and lasting. We don’t always have to shell out large amounts of money to bond with family and friends as some of the following ideas show.
Get active together.
Walk, jog, or hike outdoors. Pick a form of recreation that will expand your sense of togetherness rather than just being passively together like eating out and watching a film at the cinema.
Try doing new things together.
Trigger your sense of adventure by going to a new place you’ve never been before, trying a new hobby, or doing anything that’s outside your relationship’s comfort zone.
Enjoy celebratory events.
Besides special occasions, you can participate in events organized by universities and other institutions commemorating historical markers. Determine your common interest and find a program that revolves around it.
You can join events featuring other couples, teens, or families. Meeting new people can widen your perception about yourself, your family members, and friends, and the world.
The Value of Building Memories
Creating and accumulating positive memories with family members and friends give us a sense of fulfillment.
These memories help us establish a life well-lived and enjoyed with the people who matter the most to us.
On a practical note, having strong social connections and committing to make positive memories can produce positive health benefits as we age. Strong relationships that welcome fun or play are good for relieving stress and strengthening creativity and problem-solving abilities.
Looking for the right words to describe a beautiful or happy memory? Scroll down and choose from our collection of quotes about memories.
1. “Memories are like a garden. Regularly tend the pleasant blossoms and remove the invasive weeds.” – Linda Fifer Ralphs
2. “Memories are the key not to the past, but to the future.” – Corrie ten Boom
3. “Memories, all those little experiences make up the fabric of our lives and on balance, I wouldn’t want to erase any of them, tempting though it may be.” – Ben Affleck
4. “Leftovers in their less visible form are called memories. Stored in the refrigerator of the mind and the cupboard of the heart.” – Thomas Fuller
5. “Memories are dangerous things. You turn them over and over, until you know every touch and corner, but still you’ll find an edge to cut you.” – Mark Lawrence
6. “Be careful who you make memories with. Those things can last a lifetime.” – Ugo Eze
7. “Memories, the one thing that can never be taken away from us. Make lots of them!” – Catherine Pulsifer
8. “Creating memories is a priceless gift. Memories will last a lifetime; things only a short-period of time.” – Alyice Edrich
9. “Memories are the treasures that we keep locked deep within the storehouse of our souls, to keep our hearts warm when we are lonely.” – Becky Aligada
10. “Our memories are the only paradise from which we can never be expelled.” – Jean Paul Richter
11. “Memories are contrary things; if you quit chasing them and turn your back, they often return on their own.” – Stephen King
12. “Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door.” – Saul Bellow
13. “Memories are what warm you up from the inside. But they’re also what tear you apart.” – Haruki Murakami
14. “I have memories – but only a fool stores his past in the future.” –David Gerrold
15. “The beautiful thing about memories is that they are yours; whether they are good, bad, or indifferent. They belong to you, and no matter where you are now.” – Unkown
16. “Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces.” – Richard Kadrey
17. “Memories are like moonbeams, we do with them what we will.” – Kevin Spacey
18. “To have memories of those you have loved and lost is perhaps harder than to have no memories.” – Hugh Jackman
19. “In my life I find that memories of the spirit linger and sweeten long after memories of the brain have faded.” – Harry Connick Jr.
20. “Our memories give us voice and bear witness to history, so that others might learn. So they might celebrate our triumphs and be warned of our failures.” – MOHINDER SURESH
21. “If we can’t make memories, we can’t heal.” – Leonard Shelby
22. “The finest memories are those where we have helped someone without expecting anything in return.” – Byron Pulsifer
23. “When our memories outweigh our dreams, we have grown old.” – Bill Clinton
24. “The happiest memories are of moments that ended when they should have.” – Robert Brault
25. “Photos capture our memories in print, but our memories are always with us in our minds.” – Catherine Pulsifer
26. “Memories, even your most precious ones, fade surprisingly quickly. But I don’t go along with that. The memories I value most, I don’t ever see them fading.” – Kazuo Ishiguro
27. “Memories are like antiques, the older they are the more valuable they became.” – Marinela Reka
28. “For some life lasts a short while, but the memories it holds last forever.” – Laura Swenson
29. “The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain. It’s the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared.” – Lois Lowry
30. “The worst memories stick with us, while the nice ones always seem to slip through our fingers.” – Rachel Vincent
31. “Memories, important yesterdays, were once todays. Treasure and notice today.” – Gloria Gaither
32. “Memories are like books; a few live in our hearts through life, and the rest, like the bills we pay, are read, and then forgotten.” – George Bendall
33. “Memories are like stones, time and distance erode them like acid.” – Ugo Betti
34. “Memory can be like a dream, cause and effect non-existent.” – Gordon Weaver
35. “Memory is a rare ghost-raiser. Like a haunted house, its walls are ever echoing to unseen feet.” – Jerome K. Jerome
36. “Memory is fully chimerical as forgetfulness, deceptive as any other work of the imagination.” – Madison Smartt Bell
37. “Memory…like an old musical box it will lie silent for long years; then a mere nothing, a jerk, a tremor, will start the spring, and from beneath its decent covering of dust it will talk to us of forgotten passion and desire.” – Thomas Burke
38. “Gather memories like dry twigs, thorns and thistles.” – Yehuda Amichai
39. “Memories…no two sets exactly the same, like fingerprints.” – Daphne Merkin
40. “One can love one another properly only when one is close. What is memory compared to what one can behold!” – Sigmund Freud
41. “The best memory is not so firm as faded ink.” – Chinese Proverb
42. “The memory of happiness makes misery woeful.” – Roman Proverb
43. “Memory is the treasure of the mind.” – English Proverb
44. “Memories are good, as long as we keep them in the rearview mirror and keep moving.” – Unkown
45. “Your memories are your jewels!” – Julie Butler
46. “Memories are created by what we do not by what we think.” – Byron Pulsifer
47. “Memories can be sad, but sometimes they can also save you.” – Takayuki Ikkaku
48. “Memories were the markers of the journey through life. It was necessary to know where you had come from. Only then could you know where you were going.” – William Shatner
49. “Memories are not just about the past. They determine our future.” – Jeff Bridges
50. “Memories shared serve each one differently.” – Robert Evans
51. “Memories, even bittersweet ones, are better than nothing.” – Jennifer L. Armentrout
52. “Take care of all your memories. For you cannot relive them.” – Bob Dylan
53. “That’s the thing about memories, you can’t forget them.” – Lex Luthor
54. “I try to keep the happy memories. If that’s what you call selective memories, I’m good with that.” – Nicole Williams
55. “Memories may fade as the years go by but they won’t age a day.” – Michelle C. Ustaszeski
56. “You can never be really happy if you keep holding to those bad memories which makes you sad.” – Anurag Prakash Ray
57. “No matter how much suffering you went through, you never wanted to let go of those memories.” – Haruki Murakami
58. “Maybe memories should be left the way they are.” – Melina Marchetta
59. “There is nothing like an odor to stir memories.” – William McFee
60. “Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen to one again.” – Willa Cather
61. “No one can ever take your memories from you – each day is a new beginning, make good memories every day.” – Catherine Pulsifer
62. “To observe attentively is to remember distinctly.” – Edgar Allan Poe
63. “The many memories I will forever treasure.” – K. Hooton
64. “You may not think you have a good memory, but you remember what’s important to you.” – Rick Warren
65. “Memory is a record of your personal experience. It is a record of trial and error, defeat and success. Past failures will warn you against repeating them.” – Wilfred Peterson
66. “Your memory is the glue that binds your life together; everything you are today is because of your amazing memory. You are a data collecting being, and your memory is where your life is lived.” – Kevin Horsley
67. “Your self is created by your memories, and your memories are created by your mental habits.” – Rick Warren
68. “Sending a harvest of sweet Thanksgiving memories your way.” – Danielle Duckery
69. “Figure out how to be keen on it, make it fun and you will learn quicker, and recollect more.” – Eimantas Gabalis
70. “Those moments you fail are not the end, they are periods in which you recollect thoughts, ideas, and ambitions, and change direction.” – Benjamin Chapin
71. “Love poems are little bits of memory and story that remind and shape us back into the experience of love.” – Tito Tinajero
72. “On this Valentines let me tell you, you are a sweetheart who makes every day the bright and cheerful kind, who brings the warmest memories and the happiest thoughts to mind.” – Catherine Pulsifer
73. “It doesn’t matter what you did in the past, you can’t change it. The best you can do about your past is to be nostalgic with your family and loved ones about happy memories.” – Zoe McKey
74. “The human brain can remember events, skills, habits, and experiences. The sum of what is remembered is called a memory.” – Frank Knoll
76. “. . . more than 1500 students showed me when to talk and when to listen. They taught me how to imagine, and how to dream. They gave me wonderful memories, and left footprints on my heart.” – Jacquie McTaggart
77. “We must use time wisely for our development and advancement; so that when we are old, we can look back and recollect the pleasant memories and deeds that we have achieved.” – Michael Lee
78. “Many incidents of those early years are fixed in my memory, isolated, but clear and distinct, making the sense of that silent, aimless, dayless life all the more intense.” – Helen Keller
79. “Here’s a basic memory rule: You Can Remember Any New Piece of Information if It Is Associated to Something You Already Know or Remember.” – Harry Lorayne
80. “My family legacy is mainly memories, so I especially cherish my few tangible mementos.” – Maureen Killoran
81. “The more often you share what you’ve learned, the stronger that information will become in your memory.” – Steve Brunkhorst
82. “I would like to encourage you to set traditions for your family as well as your home. Making traditions is making memories.” – Robin Redmon Dreyer
83. “Memory is the treasure house of the mind wherein the monuments thereof are kept and preserved.” – Thomas Fuller
84. “Imagination has a great potential to improve your memory. It allows traveling beyond the horizon, attaching various stories or images to the things you wish to remember, in turn it will strengthen your memory.” – William D, Memory
85. “When you are gone, the only truly important thing you will leave behind are the memories you’ve created. How do you want to be remembered?” – Michael Hyatt
86. “What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life – to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?” – George Eliot
87. “I realized that I could post on my computer’s screen saver many beautiful pictures I had taken on my travels. Now, when my computer “sleeps,” it shows scene after scene, awakening many great memories.” – Greg Conderacci
88. “A good memory power depends on the vigor and energy of the brain.” – Mat Fox
89. “The tendency to believe something is true or likely to happen based on the availability of the information in our memory.” – Yong Kang Chan
90. “Life, sometimes so wearying is worth its weight in gold. The experience of traveling lends a wisdom that is old. Beyond our “living memory” a softly spoken prayer: “It’s the journey that’s important, not the getting there!” – John McLeod