Short people, or the vertically challenged as they’re often euphemistically called, are stereotypically said to be quick-tempered. That’s especially when reacting to mean remarks that poke fun at their height (or the lack of it as the case may be).
Therefore, it’s important to proceed with an abundance of caution and tact while teasing your short-statured folk. The idea is to tell a joke that elicits a good laugh without striking the wrong nerves.
Fortunately, there are hundreds of incredibly hilarious yet emotionally sensitive jokes you can share with your short-statured family and friends. In this collection, we present the 80 funniest jokes for the vertically impaired.
80 Short People Jokes
1. “Keep looking up” – Motivational advice for most people. Necessary advice for short people.
2. A midget heads to a job interview. He humbly describes all of the advantages of his height pertaining to the job. The interviewer could see that he really was selling himself short.
3. Appreciate the little things.
Give a short person a hug.
4. At least one advantage of being short is you get to be in front for all pictures taken every time.
5. Behind every short woman is a house decoration that was being hidden.
6. Being tall is an enormous responsibility; midgets look up to you.
7. Coming down the stairs must feel like skydiving for short people.
8. Did you hear about the psychic midget who escaped from jail? He’s a small medium who’s at large.
9. Did you hear the story about the midget who was climbing down the prison wall? It is a little con descending.
10. Did you realize that dwarfism is a growing problem around the world?
11. Do short people listen to songs? Just A Lil Bit.
12. Do you know what the midget said when I asked him to lend me 10 bucks? I’m a little short.
13. Everyone knows that it is easier to bury midgets. All you need to do is find the correct shoe box.
14. Have you heard about those self-driving cars? Turns out it was just a bunch of short people driving around.
15. How do short people greet others? They microwave.
16. How do you win an argument with a short person? You stoop to their level.
17. I asked a dwarf to lend me 5 dollars yesterday. He said, “Sorry, I’m a little short.”
18. I met a couple of really short people today.
19. I met a midget once, my conversation with her was extremely awkward. I am not very good when it comes to small talk.
20. I raised the alarm at work today. The midgets were furious.
21. I was shocked to read in the papers today that a dwarf had been pickpocketed. I just thought to myself “how could someone stoop so low?”
22. It’s not that I am short, I simply have a built for speed and accuracy.
23. It’s easy to make fun of short people… The jokes always go over their head.
24. My friend who’s really short had a party the other night and he only invited other really short people. It was just a little get together.
25. One day, short people will rule the world. All 5ft of it of course.
26. Short people always have a lot of growing up to do.
27. Short people are literal definition of down to earth.
28. Short people are oppressed. They’re always getting overlooked.
29. Short people can hear what the ancestors are saying since they’re so close to the ground.
30. Short people don’t have to bend to tie their shoelaces.
31. Short people need a ladder to reach theirr advice/dreams.
32. Short people tend to get angry easily, because they’re so close to the ground their anger doesn’t dissipate easily.
33. Someone said it sounds like plates breaking when two midgets have sex.
34. Tall people and midgets should never date. Long-distance relationships never work out.
35. Wearing heels almost makes short people the same size as other people on the face of earth.
36. What did the nurse say to the midget in the hospital waiting room? You are just going to have to be a little patient.
37. What do short people call burritos? Sleeping bags.
38. What do you call a midgets mother? Minimum.
39. What do you call a poor midget? Short changed.
40. What do you call a school for short people? It’s called little things count.
41. What do you call a short black person? By their name, you racist!
42. What do you call a short man sharing his sexuality? Coming out of the cupboard.
43. What do you call a short manager? A real micromanager.
44. What does a short person call miniature golf? Golf.
45. What future does a short guy have who cooks good food? As a short-order cook.
46. What is a short person’s favorite dessert? Strawberry Short Cake.
47. What is the name for a short Mexican? A paragraph, because he’s not a full essay yet.
48. What kind of horse does a short person ride? A miniature horse.
49. What position does a short person play on a basketball team? The ball.
50. When kissing, short people either you have to tiptoe, or the other person has to kneel.
51. When two short people do 69, what do you call it? ea.
52. When you’re short, people tend to hug your head more than your body.
53. Where is the worst place for a short person to stand at a concert? Behind anyone at all.
54. Why are midgets so good at picking up girls? They are amazing at small talk.
55. Why couldn’t the short guy finish the fun-sized candy bar? It was too big!
56. Why did the dwarf get slapped by the lady? He told her “I love the smell of your hair”.
57. Why did the midget have to quit his job at the butchers? The steaks were too high.
58. Why did the short guy buy the house with the water fountain? Because he’s always wanted to own a swimming pool.
59. Why did the short guy drop out of college? Because he could not reach higher education.
60. Why did the short guy wear stilts? So he could be as tall as everyone else.
61. Why do midgets always laugh when they play soccer? Because the grass tickles their balls.
62. Why do short alcoholics hate being short? They can’t taste top-shelf liquor.
63. Why do short people always have food in their teeth? Because they can’t pick up a toothpick.
64. Why do short people have a hard time raising a family? Because they struggle to put food on the table.
65. Why do short people like drugs? Because they get them high.
66. Why do short people love shoe stores? The mirrors are the perfect height.
67. Why do skeletons like to make love to short girls before they eat? They like to bone a petite.
68. Why do the short people like the flying coach? The extra legroom.
69. Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves? They never look down on anyone.
70. Why was the short lady scared of the iguana? She thought it was Godzilla.
71. Why was the short person stuck in the elevator? Because they could not reach the door open button.
72. Why you shouldn’t make fun of short people? You are above that.
73. You are so small you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.
74. You hardly see a short person being fat at the same time. They have to do a lot of exercise going up and down the kitchen.
75. You know you are short when your shoelaces hit you in the head.
76. You know you’re short if you think the people on the wedding cake are the actual bride and groom.
77. You know you’re short when people ask you which Minion character you played in the movie.
78. You know you’re short when you use an espresso cup as a regular coffee mug.
79. You’re so short; if you pull up your pants you’d be blind.
80. You’ve really gotta hand it to short people because they usually can’t reach it anyway.
As already indicated, short people also tend to be short-fused. So, it’s best to tell jokes that bring out the best in them and not those that put them down on account of their height.
We hope you can save this collection for reference the next time you’ll be needing suitable short people jokes and puns.