Last Updated on February 27, 2024
In today’s world, romantic love is perhaps one of the most widely discussed topics. Right from the moment you first laid eyes on the cute nerd who liked to sit in the corner of the library wearing dark blue turtlenecks and became hopelessly infatuated with those sweet, doe eyes, the cycle of love and romance became a loop you couldn’t escape.
Romantic love has somehow found its way into every nook and cranny of our lives—from your friend who can’t seem to stop gushing about her new beau to those steamy romance novels you pretend to hate but secretly read when no one is looking. For most people, life without love and romance can be likened to living in a world without colors.
Over the years, distinct cultures and customs have glorified the beauty and euphoria of having a better half. Sometimes, it starts to feel like everyone has forgotten one of the most important relationships: friendship.
Platonic relationships, though truly underrated, are perhaps one of the most important relationships you will ever have, which is centered around mutual respect, admiration, loyalty, and trust with less rigid expectations that often come with romantic relationships.
A true friend can be likened to a warm blanket and hot cup of cocoa on an icy cold, wintery night. Friends can provide emotional support, boost your self-esteem, cheer you on, and help you evolve into the best possible version of yourself. However, it is essential to note that not all friends are good or trustworthy.
We all know that it is vital to acknowledge and avoid the brutal horror of unease and constant tension that comes with a toxic romantic relationship. However, it is essential to realize that some platonic relationships can be equally unhealthy and damaging for your physical, emotional, and mental health.
You need to be sure your friend truly has your best interest at heart and isn’t just another Brutus!
By now, you would probably be wondering how best you can determine if your “BFF” is a True Friend. It is often difficult to see the red flags while you’re still heavily invested in the relationship.
Listed below are eight critical factors you should look out for before you can honestly know if your friend is a rare jewel. Let’s dive right in!
You Feel Happy After Spending Time with Them
One of the best ways to evaluate your relationship – romantic love or platonic – is by thinking about how you feel after spending a considerable amount of time with them. If you always feel depressed and torn down after hanging out with them at a party, then you should know it’s a huge red flag.
Friendships are meant to be comforting, and you should feel happy whenever you are around your friends.
Success Is Not a Competition
The world is genuinely odd. You might be having one of the worst days of your life dealing with never-ending bills, impossible deadlines, and a boss who seems to be directly recruited from the fiery pit of hell. On the other hand, someone else out there is probably having the time of their lives going on a trip to Paris or winning a Nobel Prize for an invention.
While it might not always be easy to ignore the sting of jealousy, a true friend is someone who would always be happy for your wins. Human beings are naturally designed to share their success with those they love. If you always feel uncomfortable celebrating good news around your friend, then it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship.
They Are Your Secret Vault
It’s not always easy to confide in someone, especially since it can end badly. The most painful thing that can happen to you is to hear everyone talking about how you peed your pants at boot camp, knowing fully well that the only person who had all the intricate details about what happened was your best friend.
It’s often said that the only way two people can keep a secret is if one of them is dead. However, that isn’t always the case. If you’re able to share personal details of your life with your friend without being afraid you’d hear it all over school or at work, then you should know your friend is a jewel.
They Are Your Comfort Zone
We’ve all done things we aren’t proud of, and we all have quirks that make us who we are. Often, you’d be forced to put on masks and disguises in public to avoid being judged. A true friend is someone you can always be as crazy, sad, and honest around without feeling like you have to analyze your words and actions carefully.
They Push You to Become A Better Person
The truth is bitter, and no one likes being called out even when we know it’s necessary sometimes. However, this is one of the ways you can tell if your friend has your back. Your friend should keep you grounded, challenge you whenever you mess up, constructively criticize you, and push you to your full potential.
As expected, this might mean you’d feel hurt and sulk for a while, but it would help you become the best possible version of yourself in the long run.
They’re There When It Matters
In our ever-evolving world constantly surrounded by hassle, noise, and chaos, it might not always be easy keeping in touch with those you love, even though technology has tried to ease the gap.
While your friend might not always be there to play video games with you, a true friend is would always be there when it matters the most, helping you get over a bad breakup or the loss of a favorite pet.
They Treat You with Respect
Growing up, you would have often heard things like respect your parents, your teachers, and your elders, so seeing this is one of the telltale signs you have a true friend might be a bit odd.
Respect is fundamental in any relationship. Your friend must respect your values, beliefs, ideas, and desires, even if they might not fully understand or agree with them.
If your friend constantly mocks you because you still believe Santa Claus exists, even though you’ve made it clear that it hurts your feelings, then you might need new friends.
Willing To Mend Bridges:
No matter how much two people love each other, there would always be echoes of arguments from time to time. Disagreeing with your friend does not mean you hate each other or that it’s the end of your friendship. Arguments help you and your friend set boundaries and better understand each other.
If your friend is willing to apologize when they’ve hurt you, explain what you’ve done to hurt them respectfully, and bury the hatchet without constantly bringing it up, then you should know you have a great friend.
If, after reading this, you have a gigantic smile on your face because your BFF ticks every point in this checklist, congratulations! Cultivating a platonic relationship with someone who always has your back is rare. Cherish your friend and never let them go!
However, if reading this left a bitter taste in your mouth as regards your choice of friends, you should do two things: take a breather and re-evaluate these toxic friendships that you’ve found yourself in.
Friendships can be likened to a slow dance where you and your partner are trying to glide through the various obstacles placed in your path. Just as it is vital to have true friends, you should also be a good friend to others. Self-awareness is an important attribute needed to sustain any relationship. Read through the eight-point checklist again. Only this time, try to put yourself in your friend’s shoes.